Fashion Statement: Celebrity style

Does anyone really want to 'get the look'?

Rarely a day goes by without Fashion Statement's inbox receiving a startling appeal to "Get the look!" of some Z-list celebrity. Quite why anyone would want to resemble a cut-price Hilton heiress or a singer in the Saturdays whose name we can't even be bothered to Google is beyond us. Feel free to label us as snobs but even if, after the lobotomy, we woke up with the urgent desire to minutely replicate Cheryl Cole's hairdo, we suspect lacquer alone just ain't going to do it. [Aside: FS has definitely spotted an inverse correlation between the height of Cheryl's hair and her relationship with her ex-husband. We strongly suspect there is an entire division of Elnett dedicated solely to keeping them apart.]

Other unlikely recent appeals include - brace yourselves - instructions as to how you can get the look of the 'casts' of Made in Chelsea and The Only Way is Essex. Now, FS is not an avid viewer of the series in question, but we're pretty sure even the most diehard fan doesn't watch car crash reality TV for style tips. Do they? Lord, we hope not. Give us some hope for the future, eh?

Then again, it's not just style tips that these emails can offer. FS has, we kid you not, received multiple copies of a press release entitled "Low Carbs Before Marbs says TOWIE star". FS would have to actually read the email to find out what they are promoting, but we suspect it's probably not package holidays. Climbing up just a few rungs on the social hierarchy of style, we have also received endless "Kate Middleton: Get the royal tour outfits!" mailouts. Because it's a rare morning FS doesn't wake up despairing about what to wear for that chaperoned tour of Canada.

However, what really gets our goat is the total lack of copycat inspiration emails regarding real style heroes. Why, oh why, has no one bombarded our inbox with "How to dress like Wendi Deng: give signals to your aged husband via your parting alone, PLUS rock a loose sleeve for easier slap-downs!" Or "Tom Watson MP: get the look with our thick-rimmed media specs, new in store!" Top tips could include the best way to dry-clean foam pie out of a bespoke suit, and how to keep the creases out when sitting in committees for hour after hour.

Or how about taking some copycat inspiration from the Women's World Cup? FS was rather taken by US goalkeeper Hope Solo's high ponytail/headband combo (who are you calling shallow? Oh yeah, us), and if Hope Solo isn't a great name for a fashion line, we don't know what is. Surely outside the grubby world of reality TV and weekly magazine cover staples, there are more real-life heroes and heroines just waiting to have their style picked to pieces? Answers below the line, please.

In the meantime, FS will get back to decoding the exact position of Wendi's hair as related to the trickiness of the questions put to her husband, using only a ruler, a protractor and a printout tracking the News Corps share price.

FASHIONISTA OF THE WEEK

Wendi Deng defends Rupert Murdoch. Photograph: Reuters TV/Reuters

Wendi Deng's muted pink jacket says feminine but firm, and is practical for those essential defensive manoeuvres. Get the look!

FASHION GRAVEYARD

Shia LaBeouf, director Michael Bay and actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Shia LaBeouf, Michael Bay and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley at a Transformers premiere in Japan. Photograph: Jun Sato/WireImage

If FS were forced to go on a promotional tour for Transformers 3: Losing the Will to Live, it too would start getting a glassy look of suppressed hysteria. Luckily, no one has yet asked FS to sell its soul for millions of dollars (why waste the money? It's anyone's for a tenner), but if they did, we too would be troubled by the fact that spending thousands of pounds on a Chloe dress can still make you look somewhat, er, baggy around the chest area. Then again, that's the least of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Shia LaBeouf's troubles. Michael Bay has clearly got their arms in some kind of Vulcan death-grip while he mutters in Rosie's ear, "Remember Megan? Now SMILE."

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Yesterday's revelation that Megan Fox will not be starring in Transformers 3 stunned and divided a nation.

Yes, we know it's from quite some time ago, but researching (OK, Googling) Fashion Graveyard (above) threw up this gem.

SHOPPING NEWS

Fan of discount shopping? Yes, of course you are. Then head to the thoroughly renovated and regenerated Kilver Court in Shepton Mallet. Brands for sale at up to 80% off include Toast, Margaret Howell, People Tree, Miller Harris, Myla and many, many more. The opening weekend (23-24 July) will see a pop-up restaurant courtesy of Giuseppa Mascoli of Franco Manca (in FS's opinion, the best pizza in London) and a pop-up bakery from Sally Clarke. Just down the road you will also find the Mulberry Factory Shop, and in fact the giant Mulberry Bayswater bag will be paying Kilver Court an oh-so-stylish visit as part of its worldwide tour.
Kilver Street, Shepton Mallet, Somerset, BA4 5NF, kilvercourt.com

Need some shopping advice? Try GQ's new iPhone app. Gents in need of top tips will find advice on what to wear, how to wear it and where to buy it. Updated daily with new content, you can also ask the Style Shrink for help with your fashion issues and get advice on what to wear for big events, from interviews to weddings.
Available free at the App Store on iTunes

COMPETITION CORNER

Fancy a posh night out? Enter our competition to win tickets to an exclusive garden party in the grounds of the terribly posh Hurlingham Club in London, plus free designer dress hire from Girl Meets Dress so you look the part. Rumours that you must be home by midnight or turn into a marrow are entirely untrue.
Click here to enter

Or how about a posh dinner? One lucky reader will win dinner for two at the Foxhunter, Matt Tebbutt's restaurant in Nantyderry, Monmouthshire, plus overnight accommodation.
Click here to enter

OUT AND ABOUT

Coloured diamonds from Asprey's new exhibition

Asprey is holding a very exclusive exhibition of rare coloured diamonds at its London flagship store. Those wishing to drool over the extraordinary stones need to book themselves a private viewing. Stones include a green Ascher-cut diamond and a vivid blue one (one of only 65 in existence). The exhibition runs until 29 July.
For appointment details, call Bobby Gill on 020 7758 8858

Fan of frozen yoghurt? (Sorry, but FS refuses to call it "FroYo". Just wrong). Then may we direct your low-calorie footsteps towards Samba Swirl, which is opening its second shop in London at the beginning of August. As it's self-serve, you'll be able to heap your bowl high with yoghurt flavours and toppings, then just weigh and pay. All flavours are gluten free, and there is also a range of natural sorbets. Yum.
77 Northcote Road, London, SW11 6PJ. Opens Islington Green on 5 August, sambaswirl.co.uk